![]() As the child chases you, if you look back, their walk is a skittering motion that is surprisingly unnerving. If you’re seen, a tinny sounding ominous music with a quickening tempo begins, and you begin getting chased. The tension from trying to avoid the other child is the diamond in the rough. No context clues or instruction on how items connect or interact with each other is present. Left with open spaces littered with items I had no idea what to do, my experience broke down into a rote trial-and-error of using objects to see what would make things work, and praying I wouldn’t get caught by the kid looking for me. You can choose help options, but it only produces oversized white arrows from the sky giving you a general direction of what to interact with. The level themes are varied, but unfocused in how abstract the puzzles are. Movement is akin to old first-person games that feel sluggish in movement with delayed actions. Short vignettes weave a loose narrative that is mostly there just to tie each level together.įrankly, Hello Neighbor is an exercise in frustration. Levels are broken into different abstract versions of their home, as if playing in an imagination version of the setting, which is actually a clever way to create diverse environments and not be constrained to one drab setting. The loose premise - as one of two children playing hide and seek, explore and collect items that’ll allow you to solve puzzles that let you complete the level while avoiding the other child who will chase you down and catch you if caught, forcing a restart. After some research, I found it’s actually an abstract prequel to a crowd-funded survival horror experience that blew up mainly from Lets Plays and streamers coupled with its seemingly kid-friendly look. The cover depicts two young precocious looking children morbidly recreating a crime scene with a doll and ketchup while presumably the father whose corduroys, sweater vest, big moustache, and baggy eyes give the vibe of being the foil of their exploits. May I propose that in this season of goodwill to all men, you do as I have done, and pass on the good word that this game should garner no attention from anyone ever and also, that we pray that no child is unfortunate enough to receive this game upon the morning of Christmas day.You’d be forgiven if you assumed like me that Hello Neighbor: Hide and Seek was based on a cartoon. I had the good fortune to not play the original, sequel, first one of these, and for that I am thankful. Graphically it’s passable, but the sound of that kid, counting to 10 in some Sims-like language grates on you after exactly 10 seconds, and it took me 5 minutes to open a door to get away from him. ![]() And I’m not really sure why, as most of the Jo圜on buttons are not used. To open a door you have to stand in the exact right space and press the right trigger, otherwise you look through the keyhole, which also uses the right trigger. Your character races about like an ADHD kid on a mixture of coke (the drug, not the refreshing beverage), amphetamines and Red Bull (the beverage, not a scarlet coloured bovine). Shit Cake: noun – when on holiday with a group of friends, you save up all your turds for the period of your stay, then on your last day, in the hotel or apartment where you are staying, you and all your friends take a shit one after the other (ensuring not to flush in between shitters) thus ensuring that the toilet bowl is filled with an almighty massive congealed turd.Īs I mentioned I actually thought my controller had not synced. The controls are bad, and I mean like a steaming pile of shit cake. So anyway you hide and stuff, then you’re in a bizarre kids dream world, but still hiding. The problem with this game is that it is so broken I gave up after 10 minutes, 5 of which were spent reloading the game as I thought my Joy-Con wasn’t working properly, alas it was actually a bug in the game, I say bug I mean lazy inept programming. You play as a kid and you hide from your brother, at least that’s what you do at the beginning. The back story, front story, whatever, it’s not relevant. ![]() Hello Neighbor: Hide and Seek (spelt incorrectly) is a follow-up, prequel, whatever the hell you want to call it – look it doesn’t really matter, the game is bad, we know that. If you played the original game, which is actually the sequel, then you will know that this sequel, actually the prequel, is a load of old shit. ![]()
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